Multiple brothers told me they might not have spoken so openly had the discussions included others outside of Sigma Chi.īut we only provided non-fraternity perspectives through readings and videos, and in more difficult conversations, this was incredibly limiting. This made it easy for us to establish trust and honesty, as we could all relate to each other and felt more comfortable sharing sensitive experiences. In formulating the discussions, the most difficult challenge was achieving two goals simultaneously: how do we provide a safe space for men to be open and willing to share our thoughts and experiences while also bringing in different perspectives to challenge what we’ve been taught?īesides two male professionals from YWCA Evanston, Antonio Rice and Brian McHugh, all of the discussion participants were fraternity men, and almost all of them in Sigma Chi. Five fraternities is not enough, and by all means, if you would like to implement these discussions or something similar in your fraternity or any other organization, please reach out to me at. In the rest of this article, I will discuss our main takeaways from last quarter and the challenges still facing us. I am leaving because I have found support in them, not in Sigma Chi itself, and I do not wish to fund the harmful activities of our chapter. I still consider myself part of the Greek community, which has shaped much of my college experience, and I will remain close with the friends I made. Personally, I have decided to leave Sigma Chi and focus my efforts on coordinating discussions across fraternities. The spring and fall discussion curriculums. The second document shows the updated schedule for fall quarter, which new discussion leaders in five fraternities will be implementing in their own chapters: Sigma Chi, Phi Delta Theta, Delta Tau Delta, Pi Kappa Alpha and Phi Kappa Psi. The first document below shows our schedule, which we intertwined with programming for Sexual Assault Awareness Month in April. I also hoped to educate men on how others perceive our attitudes and actions, with the goal of increasing empathy and consideration, not stubborn defensiveness. My goal was to create a recurring space in the fraternity that previously didn’t exist, encouraging men to reflect on cultural ideals of masculinity and question these norms, gaining necessary communication skills in an open, honest environment. last spring quarter, I led discussions in my fraternity. So, every Wednesday from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. I wanted to push my fraternity to become more self-aware, and realize how our culture, although seemingly harmless to us, is in reality leading to harm for others. This leads to sexual violence, and every day, men participate in the culture that upholds it. Most men are taught certain ideals of masculinity and sex, and we act off these teachings, or lack thereof: We draw false assumptions about sex because porn is our only guide, we fail to properly communicate with sexual partners because we do not know how, we feel pressure to have sex to boost our self-worth, or we end up drinking too much and making decisions we would not be proud of when sober. But we have not reckoned with the implicitly disgusting behaviors that can be so much more pervasive – the times when others find men weird, creepy or entitled – and not everyone believes that these underlying behaviors are harmful. The Me Too Movement has largely forced men to reckon with our explicitly disgusting behaviors, and I don’t think most men still believe these are permissible (unless, maybe, you’re up for a Supreme Court seat and that was years ago). But impact is more important than intent, and even though we don’t know it, we often cause trauma, emotional pain or discomfort in sexual or social situations. We may not consider ourselves physically violent, and I don’t think we usually intend to hurt others. Men rarely see how we contribute to sexual violence. Source: Calgary Communities Against Sexual Abuse
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